The Lure of the New Year Resolution

So it’s the 4th of January and I guarantee a good proportion of us have fallen off our New Year Resolution ‘wagon’ or maybe you are doing better than me and just a wheel is wobbling. I am interested in what compels a fair amount of us to partake in this annual ritual? Is it hope? An urge to do better? Guilt? Sheep like following of the flock? As I sit here contemplating meaningful goals for the year based on a tradition of Gregorian calendar fresh starts, I cannot help but wonder about this annual pursuit of improvement, betterment and change. 

New Years resolutions date back over 4,000 years to the ancient Babylonians who made resolutions to the gods in March to ensure good fortune for their year ahead. Continuing through to the Romans who believed in making promises to the god Janus, a two faced god who they believed looked back into history and forwards to the future, hence the review and reflection on past behaviour and the promise of change going forwards.  Christians continued the tradition in more recent times with watchnight services that replaced New Year’s Eve merriment with hymns, prayers and promises to God.  

In more recent secular times New Years resolutions have become more about self betterment as opposed to repenting for wrongdoings and making assertions to change and make things right. The following are the top 10 New Years resolutions for this year based on a survey of 2000 people:

• Lose weight (54%)

• Save more and spend less (32%)

• Learn a new skill or hobby (26%)

• Quit smoking (21%)Read more (17%)

• Find another job (16%

• )Drink less alcohol (15%)

• Spend more time with family and friends (13%)

• (Source: Inc.)

Not many, be kinder to others, forgive the drivers that I previously was quick to judge and rage at, visit my close elderly neighbours who have no family, donate blood, donate 100 hours to volunteering for a worthy cause, give more time to the team I work with, become a better leader.......

In 2007 a study by Richard Wiseman from the University of Bristol involving 3,000 people showed that 88% of those who set New Year resolutions fail.  Why would we continue to engage in a practice that has such a poor hit rate?  Maybe the secret is in resolving to do something for others? Maybe, just maybe, a public commitment to change something to help others will create a sense of commitment which increases our success rate?

Let’s get off the treadmill and try something different, maybe that is our resolve for change. 

I still believe deep down in self renewal and feel that, through a more considered approach, we can make it into the 12% who feel they have been successful and made progress. A few practical ideas I have learned from others are:

1. Truly make time to think about what will really make a difference, to you and to others.

2. Commit it to paper in a level of detail that makes sense for you.Beware the saintly notion which cannot be measured.

3. Don’t take on the world, you can always add more and adjust it as you progress through the year.

4. Review them on a monthly/quarterly basis. Is it still relevant? Meaningful to you? How are you progressing? What would help to make progress? What is hindering progress? Who can help me?

5. Invest time in implementing the change. Remember that it takes time to form a habit. Much of the 21 or 30 days popular notion has been debunked in scientific research (Philippa Lally, 2009), with an average of 66 days but anywhere between two weeks and 8 months depending on the nature of the habit and the resolve of the person. It takes relentless repetition and being kind to ourselves when we trip up, and remember, this can take even longer when we need to break a habit.

As for me, I resolve to truly listen as hard as I can this year, not an easy task for the judging, controlling, ‘I have the next question lined up and a theory’, sort of mind. Oh, and get fit and healthy...... I still can’t resist the allure of conformity!

Good luck with your personal change this year and I will leave you with some quotes that I enjoyed reading about the New Year from the scientist to the poets.

Albert Einstein: Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.

TS Eliot: For last year’s words belong to last year’s language and next year’s words await another voice.

Alfred Tennyson: Hope smiles from the threshold of the year to come, whispering, “It will be happier”.